


Introvert Prompt 15

by Glade



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dysphoria, M/M, Self-Harm, Trans, Trans Character, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-17 01:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11841021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glade/pseuds/Glade
Summary: Sirius plays the long game to get the cutie with the ancient and unreliable bike. Remus is a shy new University student with the aforementioned ancient and unreliable bike and a crush on the cutie who fixes it.Prompt 15: "You see, Remus here has had a crush on me since first year, so he just can’t help himself."





	Introvert Prompt 15

Remus knew that his bike was a pile or junk but it was cheap and worked alright, usually. Ok, sometimes the front gears needed an extra hard yank, but it still rolled (rattled) along ok and it was faster than walking so he just dealt with it. He had bought it from one of the many second hand bike shops scatted across Bristol, aimed at new university students. Unfortunately, some combination of the ungodly hills and too many yanks on the gearing had stretched the cable beyond recognition, so he took it to one of the fortnightly ‘bike clinics’ the University held to encourage everyone to cycle.

He joined the back of the queue, and sat on the stone wall surrounding the grassy area, enjoying the feeling of relaxing and sunshine. The first few weeks at Uni had been a frantic whirlwind of new names, module information and getting lost.

A sudden bark of laughter made him look over at the small gazebo and the two members of staff who were currently fixing bikes. The one who had laughed was perfect. Longish short hair curled very attractively around small ears. No hint of a moustache at all- perhaps he was trans as well, since he was also wearing a shirt rather than the t-shirt with the company logo the other guy was wearing. He shook his head back, and one curl of hair settled over his left eye- too short to get in the way. There was a very small sliver of skin visible between the cuffs of the shirt- grey, some sort of tweed effect- and what appeared to be black leather gloves.

The woman in front of Remus wandered off, leaving her bike on the ground. Remus mentally shrugged, assuming that she’d probably come back- the bike looked to be more expensive than his, although not as ridiculously expensive as some of the bikes he’d seen available. Just then the cutie in the grey shirt finished with his previous client, and waved Remus over. He nearly tripped over his feet as he walked over, but managed to explain the problem with his gear cables without diverging into rambling about the other person’s hair, for which he was very grateful. It turned out that he probably wasn’t trans- there were a few moustache hairs visible- and the gloves were actually plastic, but he was still ridiculously cute. And equally ridiculously soft-spoken.

Cutie’s official suggestion was to replace the gear cables, and Remus tried (and probably failed) to stare too much as he did so. There was something very endearing about him biting his bottom lip, or squinting as he pushed on the rear derailleur to check the full range of rear gears worked. Remus just about lost it when cutie tucked the front wheel between his legs to hold the handlebars still as he unscrewed the shifter to take out the old cable. His brain still wasn’t working at 100%, so when cutie told him that he’d probably need to bring the bike back in a fortnight due to the cables stretching slightly, and that he’d probably be there, Remus’s mouth said ‘Excellent!’ without any input from his brain. He blushed, and hung around just enough to pay for the gear cables, then fled, hoping that cutie hadn’t noticed the blush.

Sirius couldn’t get the Paris bike student with a variety of arm and hand scars out of his head for the rest of the day. Not that it really mattered- the repairs needed by the bikes at these clinics were some of the most basic and he could almost do them in his sleep. He wondered about the blush, but chalked it up to being embarrassed about his bike.

* * *

 

Two weeks later, Sirius was the only one working. This far into term, there weren’t enough people attending the clinic to warrant a second member of staff. He was suddenly very grateful for that fact when the Paris bike person returned, and not just because he hated leaving cable jobs half done. Sirius was too professional to rush through the other bikes, but he did keep glancing over at him. He was wearing a long-sleeved shirt despite the unseasonably warm weather and there were new scabs on his hands. Sirius frowned and cut a brake cable with entirely too much force when he realised what that probably meant. The Paris bike student seemed much more pensive today, and was curled into himself rather than spread out as he had been the last time. Sirius planned the whole time he was fixing everyone else’s bikes, and was rather pleased when no-one else joined the queue behind the Paris bike student. It meant he didn’t have to worry about getting the Paris bike sorted and move onto some-one else's.

“Gear cables need tightening?” he asked as Remus levered himself up from the low wall he had been sitting on.

“Err, yeah.” Remus replied. “They were- you changed them last time and said I should bring it back again today.” He forcibly shut his mouth to stop himself rambling inanely on.

Sirius grinned up at him. “Yes, I remember doing that. It’s not every day that a cute guy brings his bike in to be fixed.” Damn. That was clearly the wrong thing to say. Before the Paris bike student could shut down completely, he hurried on. “Do you want to learn a bit about bike maintenance?”

Remus blinked. It was hard to not irrationally hate the guy for that first line, but he knew logically it wasn’t cutie’s fault his body made a really annoying and painful point of flaring his dysphoria every month. “Umm, sure?” he squeaked, surprised.

Sirius’s grin changed into a proper smile. “So- hang on, what’s your name? I’m Sirius.”

“Remus. I’m a first year philosophy student.”

“Awesome.” Sirius peeked at Remus as he tightened the bike stand. He spent the rest of the time explaining some of the techniques he was using to Remus, and was pleased to see that by the end of the impromptu lesson Remus seemed less tightly wound up.

* * *

 

Remus hadn’t meant to stalk Sirius on the internet, it just sort of happened. Well, it hadn’t just happened, but it wasn’t like he actually searched for the guy! He just searched for the company who did the bike clinic, and that then led to a facebook page, and that led to a list of employees. He clicked on ‘Sirius Black’, wondering what he would see. There he was, cycle helmet in hand, his curls squashed to his head. Next to him was a bicycle with ridiculously thick tyres. Sirius was dressed in cycling gear and was grinning broadly at the camera. Remus felt a sudden burst of longing, whether from Sirius’s perfection or just his happiness at what he was doing, he wasn’t sure. He frowned, and shut the tab. He had homework to do.

* * *

 

Remus had to force himself to not return to the next bike clinic. Just because Sirius had been doing his job didn’t mean anything, and Remus wasn’t about to make an idiot of himself by turning up when there wasn’t anything wrong and annoying the guy. That didn’t stop him from wandering past the area and covertly glancing at the stand. Sirius had his bottom lip between his teeth again as he carefully pedalled the bike, checking the gear shifters. He looked...content. Remus sighed and carried on walking.

He found himself finding excuses to pass the bike clinic stand whenever it was on, even when his bike didn’t need any repair work doing, just for a glimpse of Sirius. He wasn’t always there, and when Remus turned up with his bike for some new brake pads in February and saw that Sirius wasn’t there, he very firmly told himself that it was a good thing, although that didn’t quite stop the feeling of disappointment.

By the time Remus bought the glow in the dark stars, he knew he was a hopeless romantic. That didn’t stop him from very carefully sticking them on his ceiling in the Canis Major constellation, with the collection of the smallest stars in the box standing in for the dog star. There were enough stars left in the box to do Orion and Canis Minor on two of the walls, so it didn’t feel too hopelessly romantic.

* * *

 

At the start of his second year, Lily, Marlene and Kingsley dragged him out to the local pub to celebrate being back together again. Lily couldn’t drink alcohol due to her medication, but the others all had their favourite drinks, and Remus enjoyed the slight buzz which helped put his dysphoria out of his mind, at least for a few hours.

Half an hour in, Lily nudged him and pointed at a corner. “That fella’s done nothing but stare at you since we arrived.” Remus glanced over and saw Sirius sitting there, wearing a green ‘ride leader’ top. Remus felt his mouth curl into a smile and Sirius stood up. He hesitated when Lily nudged the other housemates, but walked over when they all glanced over at him and wandered away, clearly leaving Remus to him.

“Mind if I join you?” Sirius asked, glancing at the suddenly empty seats.

“Err, no?” Remus squeaked, blushing. He hoped it wasn’t noticeable in the dim light. Sirius grinned at him, and slid into the chair opposite him.

“Haven’t seen you at the bike clinic recently, how is your bike these days?” Sirius asked, playing with the beer mat in front of him.

“Alive and squeaking,” Remus replied, “I think I’ve got the hang of the commute as well.”

There was a slight pause while both of them tried to think of something to say.

“So, how did you get into bike repair?” Remus asked, his mind flicking back to the image of Sirius standing by his bike and looking extremely happy.

“My parents were very anti-exercise while I was growing up, and constantly moaned about cyclists getting in the way as they drove around everywhere. So, naturally, when I got kicked out, getting a bike was high on my to-do list. It was ancient, so I got into bike repair because I wanted to look after it as best I could, and then it all sort-of spiralled from that.” Sirius grinned in happy remembrance of that first bike. “That naturally led into learning about different bikes for different activities and I now have a herd of 5 bikes for various things.”

Remus blinked at him, too engrossed in the story to be self-conscious. “Isn’t 5 a bit of over-kill?”

Sirius grinned even wider. “Not really, it all depends on what you want to do. There’s road biking, touring, mountain biking, cyclo-cross and I’ve also got a folding bike for if I have to go somewhere by train.” Sirius paused to let Remus take that all in before continuing. “Would you be interested in learning how to fix bikes yourself? Not just you and me,” he added hurriedly when he realised how that might sound, “there’s a bike recycle project near the Uni which has volunteering things most evenings. We’re always open to new people.”

Remus looked first surprised, then thoughtful. “I guess it might be interesting,” he said in the end. “Just...are there lots of people around? Large crowds make me nervous.” He rubbed his fingers over his hands nervously, and Sirius was suddenly reminded forcibly of the scars on them.

“Not usually, but it can get crowded from time to time. But it’s not too loud, and everyone is friendly. They started looking after me when I got kicked out of my parents. And you’ll be assigned a guide in the beginning who will be mostly in charge of training you.” Remus didn’t look convinced, so Sirius pulled out a pen and scribbled his number on a spare napkin lying around. “This is my number. Feel free to text me at any point if you have any questions about it. I’d better get back to the cycling group before they decide to abandon me here.” With that and another grin, Sirius left.

Lily, Marlene and Kingsley all immediately hurried back over to grill Remus about the stranger. 

* * *

 

In the end, Remus didn’t manage to gather the nerve to text Sirius until halfway through the term. He probably would’ve kept putting it off even more, but Lily kept pointing out that the longer he left it, the harder it would get, and wasn’t the point of University to meet new people and do new things anyway? So one day he managed to gather the courage to send

_Hi, so I actually have some free time now Uni has settled down some to do this bike volunteering thing. Where and when? Remus._

Sirius supposed that it was probably a good thing that he didn’t have Remus’s number and therefore couldn’t accidentally chase the poor bloke off by being too forward/annoying, but the fact that it had taken Remus so long to message him was still somewhat disconcerting. It took him a few hours to realise he had a text as he’d been out on his bike cycling back from Wales, but when he got home he opened his phone and saw the message. He grinned, and quickly typed out a reply.

_Either Tuesday or Wednesday, 6:30 @ Bristol Bike Project. Looking forward to seeing you there._

And so on Tuesday Remus found himself standing outside the large workshop, very nervous. He clenched his hand before opening the door and walking inside. The first thing he noticed was how quiet it was, even though it was rather busy. Then he noticed Sirius, who was brushing a hand through his hair, and forgot how to breathe. Sirius suddenly raised his head and look straight at Remus, and a smile curled his mouth. Remus felt his own mouth responding in kind.

* * *

 

Sirius was concerned and a little upset when Remus didn’t show up on the third week. He sent a text to Remus asking if he was alright and carried on as normal, his phone a heavy non-vibrating weight in his pocket.

* * *

 

The next week Remus turned up, but he was much more distant than usual, and fresh bruises covered his hands and wrists where they were covered by long sleeves again, despite the heat of the workshop. Sirius frowned but said nothing, taking out his annoyance on gear cables and tight nuts.

Over the course of Remus’s second year at University he learnt all about bikes as well as the philosophy of his course. He also learnt quite a lot about Sirius, and he imagined that Sirius was learning just as much about him, although Remus was sure that he had more secrets he wasn’t prepared to share than Sirius had.

* * *

 

Naturally, Remus headed home for the summer. Sirius would’ve thought about it before, but he had become such a staple part of the bike workshop that the fact he didn’t live in Bristol full time had completely escaped him. He was snappish the entire holiday, and even taking the break his boss had suggested to go on a cycle tour around the Scottish Highlands for a month hadn’t helped.

Remus had only texted him intermittently over the summer, so it was a surprise one night at the bike bike project that Sirius felt eyes on him, glanced up and saw Remus, leaning casually against the door frame, shirt sleeves rolled up for once. He grinned, and ran a hand through his hair, which caused Remus to smile back and then blush hard.

“I never realised how much I’d miss this place over the summer,” Remus said quietly to Sirius, coming over to help with a particularly tight nut.

“I missed you too,” Sirius replied, even quieter. He kept his eyes firmly on the bike, and jumped when Remus reached over to pat his hand.

“Want to grab a drink one evening?” Remus asked, surprising himself. He may have thought about it over the summer, but he hadn’t expected to just ask like that.

“Sure,” Sirius replied before Remus could stutter an apology. He glanced up and smiled at Remus, who was still blushing madly. “Same place as last time?”

* * *

 

Remus entered the pub again and hesitated, letting his eyes adjust to the gloom. He spotted Sirius and waved to him before getting a drink at the bar and heading over.

“So, looking forward to third year?” Sirius asked as he settled into the bench.

Half an hour of small talk and two drinks later, Sirius was pleased to see that Remus had stopped being so stressed out by the situation, and decided to move onto a more serious topic.

“So,” he started, and Remus looked up at him, surprised by the change of tone of voice, “I really missed you this summer, and was wondering whether I could maybe take you out for dinner sometime?” Remus blinked in surprise, and Sirius hurried on. “Obviously, you can say no, or think about it, or...”

“Sirius.” Remus interrupted, blushing but also smiling broadly. “I’d love to.” He paused, gathering his courage for the next bit. “I...should probably explain some stuff first though.” He glanced down at his hands, then winced as the TV in the corner let out a large burst of static at something interesting happening in the football game it was displaying. “Just not here. Want to come around to my place?”

“Sure.” Sirius agreed, standing up and leading the way through the pub to the bike racks out the back. The pub was walking distance to Remus’s house, so Sirius unchained his bike and walked along the pavement with Remus, glancing up at him from time to time.

Once at Remus’s place, Sirius locked his bike up again and followed Remus into the kitchen, sitting down opposite him and waiting patiently for Remus to start talking.

After a few attempts to talk which failed, Remus rolled up his sleeves, revealing parallel scars of various depths and stages of healing on both his arms. He traced a circle of scars on the heel of one of his hands, which Sirius suddenly realised was a human bite mark.

“Have you heard of pain gating?” He asked eventually. Whatever Sirius had been expecting, it wasn’t that and it took him a few seconds to understand what he had just been asked. Slowly, he shook his head.

“I don’t self-harm. Well, yes I suppose technically I do, but not for the usual reasons. The human body will usually only register pain from one area, whichever is hurting the most. So, by cutting, or biting, I can force my body to ignore one lot of pain for a different lot.” There was a long pause while Remus worked out the best way to explain the rest of it. “You probably noticed that I missed quite a few bike repair sessions last year. I...I’m trans and get crippling period pain. Hence the pain gating.” Remus very carefully stared at the table.

Sirius waited a few breathes to see if anything more was forthcoming. “Okay,” he said, simply.

Remus’s eyes shot to his. “You don’t...mind, or anything?” he asked hesitantly.

“No. Well, I’d guessed about you being trans, but it’s not really something you can just bring up and ask about.” He shrugged. “And now I know for sure, I can stop worrying so much when you just vanish from time to time. I guess you get rather dysphoric about your periods then?”

“Err, yeah.” Remus said, still slightly confused. “And you still want to go out with me?”

“Yes?” Sirius replied, confused by the question. “It’s not like it changes anything about you on a fundamental level.”

Remus blinked at him a few times before finally smiling, and shaking his head fondly. “You are really something else, Sirius.”

* * *

 

Sirius had been rather annoyed that Remus was expected to go home for the tail end of Chanukah and the rest of the Christmas holiday, but the greeting he got from Remus on his return more than made up for it. While they had shared some very enjoyable kisses before, Sirius had always let Remus set the pace, and Remus had always been too shy to do much. Not this time, apparently, as Sirius found himself pressed against the wall in Remus’s kitchen, getting the snog of his life. Eventually Remus broke the kiss to rest his head against the wall, panting.

Sirius took the opportunity to nibble on Remus’s neck. “Want to take this upstairs?” he asked between bites.

“Sure,” Remus replied, lacing their fingers to lead Sirius upstairs to his room. As soon as he opened his bedroom door, he suddenly remembered the glow in the dark stars still stuck on the ceiling and walls. Before he could do anything about them, Sirius had entered the room and was looking around interestedly.

“Remuuuuus,” he said, staring at the ceiling.

Remus looked at the floor, blushing madly. “I may have had a crush on you since my first year. I couldn’t help it!”

 

Sirius grinned at him, kissing him quickly on the lips. “It’s amazing. I love it.”


End file.
